How to Write Your Star Autobiography
Ten plot points that (almost) always show up
You can, if you are inclined to hopeless honesty, also think of what follows as “Ten Things to Tell Your Ghostwriter.” Most stars have them, of course, whether credited or un–. Sandford Dody, whose delightful Giving Up the Ghost was a source when the Siren was writing about Elaine Barrie nearly ten years ago, remarked that “the most sensible way to view the stars is from a long way off.” If that’s true, the Siren has been recklessly un-sensible. She cannot resist a good Hollywood as-told-to. Of course, the Siren has company. One of W.H. Auden’s favorite books was, no kidding, The Big Love by Florence Aadland; William Styron was also a big fan. Florence was the mother of Beverly Aadland, the 15-year-old girl whose relationship with Errol Flynn began with statutory rape and ended with Beverly, still only 17, discovering Flynn unconscious and dying on the last night of his life.
The Siren hasn’t read The Big Love, but she’s read an ungodly number of others. And once you read a few of these books—it won’t take many—you realize they consist largely of story beats as regular and dependable as anything in that Save the Cat! guide. As 2024 staggers to a close, the Siren would like to share some of what she’s learned from her years of misspent reading and haphazard book-buying.
The “Aha!” moment
This can take different forms—a childhood incident, a chance meeting, a movie or show that made an impression—but it’s always a seemingly trivial incident that Pointed The Way To The Future. Examples:
Lana Turner, The Lady, The Legend, The Truth:
On Saturdays there were matinees at the local movie house. I’d save a nickel of my lunch money every day to raise the quarter to go. I loved the actresses and the beautiful clothes they wore, especially Kay Francis. I loved her because my mother looked exactly like her. She even wore her hair like Kay Francis. And Norma Shearer … so beautiful, so glamorous. That was real entertainment.
Lana’s passage is typical; rare is the movie star who didn’t fall in love with movies before they got into the busines. If they didn’t, it’s probably because they came along before the rise of Hollywood, like Lillian Gish or Mary Pickford.